Tell me this happens to all of you, too: you’re in the shower, or preparing dinner, or busy at work, and in your head you compose a post. It’s a great post! Chock full of wit and intrigue! But then, when the time comes to sit down and write it out, the words are just…gone. This has been happening to me a lot lately.
I thought for sure I’d have time to do a Thanksgiving post, especially since this year I am the most thankful person that ever did thank. Also, I worked from home during the snowstorm on Wednesday, and had off Friday. And yet somehow the weekend slipped away from me. Ah, well.
I’ve been thinking a lot about being thankful. I’m still doing a lot of that. I don’t know if any of you follow Scary Mommy, but lately the majority of those posts have been sort of annoying me. It seems like every other post (with a few notable exceptions) is about a mom just counting down the minutes until bedtime, or hiding in the bathroom from her kids, or chugging wine and trying to get out of story time. And yes, I understand that parenting is hard…especially when you have multiple children…and complaining is natural, and normal. And maybe I don’t have the right to say this yet because I’ve only been a parent for a few short months and I only have one child. But where are all the posts filled with joy and gratitude? Where are all the moms rushing home without stopping to pick up creamer first, because one quick trip to the grocery store on a weeknight means 15 minutes fewer with her sweet baby? I know those moms are out there, too. I happen to be one of them.
Some things in life, even things that I really, really look forward to, are not as good as I imagined. Being a mom? Better. So, so much better. I am grateful in every waking moment. When it’s 5 am and I’m frickin’ exhausted and she won’t stop kicking my boob and babbling at me…when she cries and fusses for absolutely no reason at all…when she (willfully?) grabs my hair and yanks..I smile, and I’m thankful. I’m not doing it for show, or because I don’t feel like I have a right to complain. I am genuinely, truly filled to bursting with appreciation and awe every day of my life. It’s a very strange thing to try to explain. And for someone who has been spoiled and perhaps a bit overindulged (relatively speaking) for most of her life, it’s a wee bit of an adjustment.
Thanksgiving was awesome. Molly had her first taste of food (organic sweet potatoes), and she did very well with them. We’ve tried to give them to her a couple more times but she has a “take it or leave it” kind of attitude about the whole thing. When we’re eating, she looks fascinated, but once we give her a turn she doesn’t seem to care anymore. I’m curious to see what happens when we try something different.
We did Christmas photos on Sunday and I’m dyinnnnnnng to see the proofs (and order cards). I had a little bit of a “new mom fail” at the photo shoot because I only brought a formal outfit, whereas my mom and sister brought PJs for the other kids to change into and those pictures are going to be so adorable. I wish someone had communicated to me that kids require multiple costume changes. How was I supposed to know?!
The new job? Ahhhhh, heaven! I’m already busy with work and my days fly by. The benefits there are incredible – not just infertility coverage, but even their maternity leave is DAMN GOOD. (Unsure if I’m allowed to disclose specifics, so I won’t, but I will say I’m thrilled). They actually have dedicated lactation rooms. With leather couches and high-tech massage chairs. For realz.
I have a billion more things to say but clearly I can’t remember any of them AND I need to go do some more (online) Christmas shopping. I started out saying that I was only going to get Molly one or two things since she’s clueless this year anyway, but so far I’ve already blown that limit out of the water and Eric’s been shopping for her, too. We just can’t help it. We’re too damn excited. And grateful. Incredibly, ridiculously grateful.