So I’ve been giving some thought on how to handle the next steps. Either this works and I have a few weeks of walking around like I’m made of glass, or it’s negative and I’ll be crawling into a dark cave and waiting for death (kidding. I think). But the fact of the matter is that I’m supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell the public. And that public includes Facebook, I would think.
Here’s what I’m going to do: I will continue posting on the blog, including early pregnancy, negatives and whatever else life throws at me, but I won’t share the links on Facebook as I have been doing. All you FB followers are welcome to add my blog to your Google Reader or just click on it sporadically, but from now on you’re on your own to find me. Until my big obnoxious Facebook announcement, anyway. Sorry… I’ve suffered through so many of yours, I just have to do one (suffered may be too harsh. I endured them. Stoically. Big gulps of wine helped immensely).
Just one more quick thing. If you do choose to follow me and know what is going on, please do not share it with your friends (Yes, your friends totally care. The bump watch on me has been similar to the one on Kate Middleton and I don’t want paparazzi all up in my grill) or exclaim loudly if we should run into each other in the grocery store. Let’s just pretend it’s not happening, for now, or you can simply give me a slight wink and nod. I will start posting again in earnest once we get past the danger zone.
OK, now with that out of the way, let’s talk about Progesterone. Oh…Progesterone. I’ve been creeping on so many other blogs lately and I can’t help but notice that mostly everyone gets this in the form of suppositories or even, (lucky bitches) gets it in pill form. Um… wtf? I get intramuscular (read: in the ass) shots of Progesterone in Oil every single day and those. mothereffers. hurt. The shot itself is fine, but afterwards? What can I compare it to? It’s kind of like willingly getting kicked in the ass by an elephant every day.
They started nine days ago and yes, I know, they are supposed to be “tricking” my body into thinking it’s pregnant. I figured I would have to keep doing them until maybe the second positive beta, then would get to stop because my body would be producing it naturally, right? WRONG. In the event of a BFP (that’s Big Fat Positive, FB), I have to keep doing this until the 9 week U/S. AND, as if that’s not awesome enough, this whole thing could be for naught if it’s a BFN (you guessed it – Big Fat Negative) and I get to start all over next month. Woo hoo!
We switch sides every night but it seriously hurts to sit down and even walk sometimes. My whole lower back/upper ass is so sore. Oh, and I’m not even allowed to take ibuprofen anymore (just Tylenol). I also can’t lift anything heavy, drink alcohol or eat unpasteurized cheese. I feel like at least some of these things could help dull the pain.
Yes, I know that we can switch out and do my upper thighs for this shot. But the thought of that creeps me out and then my legs AND my ass would hurt – double whammy. I asked the nurse why I was the only person on the planet doing injections when clearly suppository (while not pleasant, I’m assuming less cripplingly painful) is the way to go. She said that above any other method, the shots work the best. When the suppositories don’t work, they switch the patient to injections. So really I’m starting out with the mack daddy of Progesterone delivery methods and I should be grateful thankyouverymuch.
Assuming this will all be much easier to take once I get that BFP. Or I can stop if I get a BFN. Either way… Progesterone is a big jerk and I don’t like it.
In other news I have been in a TERRIBLE mood these past couple of days and that’s probably why I’m bitching so much. I hope that’s indication of crazy baby hormones working overtime but I’m just not convinced. My dear friend and coworker talked me off the ledge earlier so I’m doing much better now than I was a few hours ago. I just expected to feel something. All I feel is bitter and irritated and mad at Progesterone. Boo.