burnt toast life

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May 20

back in the saddle

May 20

Greetings, my friends, and thank you all for doing your best AF-fairy dances! By this morning I was MOODY. I was irritable; I was pissed off. For those of you afflicted by long/abnormal cycles: I finally have a tiny bit of insight as to how you feel. I am so, so sorry that anyone should have to suffer through waiting for a period that just won’t come. Ugh! The good news is that AF did not come on Friday or Sunday and I had a fabulous time at my Color Me Rad 5K. I even ran for about 35% of it, which is particularly amazing considering that I did not train for one minute and had planned on power walking the whole thing. And then today, just when I thought I would die from waiting another minute, I got my period. *cue huge sigh of relief*

shoes are ruined (worth it)

shoes are ruined (worth it)


I walked immediately from the ladies room to a quiet place to call New Hope. My stomach was in my throat, terrified they would tell me to not bother coming in until next month. Thankfully, the receptionist did tell me to come in Wednesday for Day 3 baseline, but I’m not 100% sure she knew my whole story. Not that I care. At least going in will make me feel like I’m still part of the show, and I can ask to speak with Dr. L plus give her all the paperwork from my OB/GYN. I feel the need to see the inside of the office just to prove I still belong there. It probably sounds odd, but again, not being a paying customer makes me very, very nervous that the gravy train will stop at any moment.

So that’s where I am, back at square one but also excited to get started again. And here’s where I need an opinion or two. I have the prescription to get the clotting disorder tests, but from everything I’ve read it looks like I’ll be giving anywhere from 21 to 678 vials of blood for them. Typically these tests aren’t really ordered until you’ve had multiple losses (does it count that I had two at once?) but my OB/GYN seemed fine with ordering them. I’m just sort of hesitant. On one hand, that’s A LOT of blood. On the other, maybe I should rule out clotting disorders, just to be safe. I just really don’t think that was the problem. These issues are more often than not genetic, and none of the disorders run in my family. My mom tested negative for all of them. I know I’m a different person, but physically, I’m so much like her… I’m torn. I will talk to Dr. L about it since she suggested getting them on that dreaded day which shall not be mentioned, but I don’t know how adamant she was. Obviously the last thing I want is to have another miscarriage. Blah, I don’t know. Should I get them, or should I wait?

birddietIn related news, my diet is going… OK. Let’s just say I’m fully aware that I’m not actually pregnant right now, so the Life or Death thing doesn’t fully ring true. It’s a tough way to eat, especially on weekends, at parties, at home, at work, in the evening… yeah, it’s not easy any time. It’s very difficult to be good. And what makes it worse is that my stomach isn’t fully at peace yet, even with all the changes I’ve made. Bananas are supposed to be on the “fructose acceptable” list, but I found out that my body does not like bananas, not one bit. Eliminating so many foods makes it 100 times easier to determine what’s bothering me, which is nice. But I still have not figured it out completely. Every day I allow myself fewer and fewer different foods, hoping I will feel settled. It’s just so frustrating and now that I have a potential timeline, I feel like I really need to figure it out, and quickly. That means no more justifying Thin Mints on Sunday nights (though I have to say, they don’t even taste as good anymore. Such a disappointment).

That’s all for now. Getting back on track for arm pricking, attempting to get on track for dieting and trying to talk myself into giving up 678 vials of blood. No big deal.

Posted by amanda 21 Comments
Filed Under: IVF Tagged: blood clotting disorders, CD1, New Hope Fertility Center, waiting

Apr 18

Broccoli! Lots and lots of broccoli!

Apr 18

broccoliAs expected, my PCP was not thoroughly swayed by my food allergy argument. To appease my delicate emotional state, he offered to refer me to an allergist to do a more in-depth test. He also suggested that maybe I was reacting to the fructose in high fructose corn syrup, not the corn. A little bit of research determined that Fructose Malabsorption is a fairly common malady and gave a list of foods to avoid. This list included a bunch of fruits (boo), some vegetables (double boo) and even coconut milk. Coconut milk is a mainstay of the Paleo diet. So I ask you – what the hell can I eat? I feel like food is out to get me and it’s more than a little frightening. I really want to know exactly WHAT is causing these issues. Next week I will literally be subsisting on broccoli, which seems to be the only totally “safe” food. It’s OK; I like broccoli. And this could be a good thing because the doctor weighed me and holy shit I almost weight as much as my husband infertility/carb loading has caused my weight to skyrocket to an unacceptable number. So, broccoli it is. Mmmmm…broccoli. (Please don’t call the authorities on me, I’m totally kidding about only eating broccoli. I’ve also decided to include peppers and celery).

I was over at my parent’s house last night for my little sister’s EIGHTH birthday celebration. I cannot believe she was born eight years ago. Where does the time go? Anyway, we were discussing natural healing and all that jazz and my mom got all serious and said I really needed to try acupuncture in addition to my crazy broccoli diet. She’s been seeing the same chiropractor/acupuncturist since I was eight years old and apparently he really wants to see me. I know acupuncture is huge in the infertility world, but I just never thought I needed it. Remember, I was strolling merrily along believing that my only problem was sperm count/motility/morphology, not anything with me. Last week proved otherwise. So now I have to figure out how to heal myself. She had mentioned yoga and meditation, which you would realize is totally out-of-character if you knew my mom. But again last night she said, “I’m serious about the yoga, meditation and acupuncture. You need to do those things.” And again, my husband gave me a look that said, “Seriously, between the grass fed beef, organic produce and acupuncture you’re going to put us in the poor house.” Which is probably true. But when it comes to healthy living, can you really put a monetary value on it? If anyone has any success stories or advice in regards to acupuncture, I would really appreciate it.

I was not expecting my PCP to be so concerned and involved, but he totally took me by surprise. He asked all the right questions and ordered up a slew of blood clotting disorder tests (as I figured he would) and made me promise that my OB/GYN would keep him in the loop on the tissue results from the D&C and any additional tests that she requests. He even shared that he and his wife had experienced a few losses early in their marriage, so he had personal experience with diagnosing the cause of this particular issue. I don’t know why I was so surprised that he cared. But anyway, it can’t hurt to have multiple doctors all doing their own individual research and diagnostics. I sort of feel like a lab rat, but since Dr. House does not exist in real life, I just have to work with who I have.

How many regular doctors does it take to match House’s misogynistic brilliance? Three, hopefully. And possibly an acupuncturist.
Dr-House-Hugh-Laurie

Posted by amanda 6 Comments
Filed Under: miscarriage, miscellany, the little things Tagged: acupuncture, blood clotting disorders, broccoli, food allergy, HFCS, PCP