burnt toast life

top 10 new baby must-haves, courtesy of a veteran mom

Now that I’m two kids wiser and currently incubating a third, some people may think that I know what I’m doing.

HA!

The truth is that I’m just as insecure and confused as everyone, but still that doesn’t stop me from handing out unsolicited advice whenever possible. So when the lovely folks over at The Baby Cubby approached me about potentially writing a post highlighting some of my favorite products for new & veteran moms alike, I was happy to oblige. Because while I haven’t quite figured out the “secret” to great parenting (though I’m inclined to think it has something to do with being a billionaire and having lots of live-in help), I have been able to determine which products get used regularly and which are sadly accumulating dust in my yard sale pile.

I had never heard of The Baby Cubby, but a little poking around on their site was all it took for me to give them two big thumbs up. This is for a couple of reasons. First, they carried all the products I knew I wanted to recommend anyway. And second, they had a curated collection of items rather than a smorgasbord of ABSOLUTELY ALL THE THINGS. Because as much as I love Amazon, it can be overwhelming shopping for carseats when your search turns up 10,000 results and you have not the time nor the energy to sort through them all (because kids, sleep, job, husband). With an online boutique focused on doing all that research for you and only offering the best of the best (and often price-matching with Amazon and free shipping over $49), you don’t need to spend hours combing through reviews. The work is done. Hooray! Go have some ice cream.

So without further ado, here are some of my most favoritest finds for new mommies (and new babies):

1) Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bag

Now, I do know that diaper bags can be a controversial topic, and technically you don’t need a fancy diaper bag for toting around a bunch of (literal and figurative) baby crap. I KNOW. But after years spent working in the Nordstrom infant department and watching all the ritzy mommies buying up these bags, I knew I had to have one. I added it to my registry not expecting to get it (because they aren’t cheap) and was pleasantly surprised when someone purchased it for my baby shower. Without her generosity, I’d be stuffing soiled onesies into a resusable shopping bag (which is totally OK too, FYI), but now I’m carrying around those poopy pants in style. Bonus: When I looked, Baby Cubby had some prints on sale.

What I like about this bag:
– The fold out changing pad, which detaches so you can wash it
– Lots ‘o pockets inside
– Long adjustable strap so you can wear it as a crossbody bag
– Detachable backpack straps, if you’re into that sort of thing
– Coated material is easy to wipe down and keep clean

2) Britax Be-Safe Car Seat

Choosing a car seat is a huge challenge because it seems like they range in price from $5 to $3,000 and obviously you want your kid to be safe, but you don’t want to like, have to take out a second mortgage to afford one, right?

When I was car seat shopping, I just went with the one the store recommended because I was wayyyy too overwhelmed to do anything else. But now two kids later I’m actually quite pleased with that choice and would make it again, and I know for a fact that my more research-savvy mom friends have picked this same brand after doing extensive comparing and contrasting that I never bothered with. So we’ll call this one a “happy accident” (kinda like Liam was) and say I went with the right choice by mistake. Score!

3) Ergobaby Four Position 360 Carrier

I’ve read 3,000 word blog posts on the pros and cons of every kind of baby carrier (truly, my life is riveting) but in the end, I had to just buy a bunch and use them for myself to know which one I liked best. I love a good Moby wrap but I find that they’re only good for the newborn stage, and once your baby gets curious about his/her surroundings you need to step up to the next level – enter ErgoBaby 360.

I don’t actually have one of these yet, but I have borrowed it enough from various friends and family members to know that I need one before I have this next baby. One of my favorite features is that it can be used for front-inward or front-outward, and TRUST ME, it’s worth splurging that extra $20 or whatever to get the 360. Because as beautiful and amazing as your chest is, your baby will reach a point when he/she just wants to look at the world, and having the front-facing option is awesome. I have another brand of front facing carrier that does not have that bottom strap thing for back support, and believe me, you need the weight distribution. Especially if you wind up with a fat baby like I did.

4) Aden + Anais Silky Soft Bamboo Burpy Bib

Again, when it comes to burp cloths, you could certainly throw a stained old kitchen towel over your shoulder and call it a day, because these things are literally designed to mop up regurgitated breast milk. But so many things about being a mom are not glamorous, and I feel like we deserve nice things to help get us through endless days and sleepless nights with newborns. There is something about these simple burp cloths that just makes me happy. The whimsical pattern? Yes. The soft construction? Yes. The clever design that sits on your shoulder just-so? Absolutely. So while you could use an old yucky dish towel… don’t. Buy these, and pamper yourself a little, mama.

BONUS: Looks like these went through a redesign since I bought mine, and now they double as baby bibs too. Genius, I tell you.

5) Boon Lawn Counter Top Drying Rack 

Even though neither of my two kids are currently drinking bottles, this thing is still taking up residence on my kitchen counter because it’s so dang convenient – and it’s actually cute, too! I use it to dry sippy cups and Gyro bowls, and I’ll even drape silicone bibs on it sometimes. It’s easy to throw in the dishwasher to clean, but please don’t make the same mistake I did…put it on the top rack only. Did you know plastic grass can melt? Yeah…

6) Crane USA Drop Shape Cool Mist Humidifier

As the mom of a toddler who gets bloody noses alllll the freaking time, a humidifier is a must-have for sure. Unfortunately, ours broke beyond repair and is still sitting in Eric’s “Yeah, I’ll get right on fixing that” pile. Hence, I’m in the market for a new one. The design of this one is really nice and – BONUS! – it’s not broken. I love it already.

7) Aden + Anais Silky Soft Bamboo Swaddle Blankets

Unless you currently or have ever lived under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Aden + Anais swaddling blankets. Why are they the best? I don’t know, they just are. Swaddling is an art and these oversized and stretchy blankets seriously help you get the hang of it. My favorite thing about them is that they’re not super heavy, so even if you have a summer baby, you can still use them in the heat and not have to worry that your little baby burrito is literally cooking. Because that is important.

8) Fridababy Nose-Frida Nasal Aspirator

Whether they’re grossed out by it or not, I buy this for every new mom I know who doesn’t have one. NO, you don’t eat the boogies (there’s a filter). YES, it work 10,000 times better than those stupid sucky bulbs they give you in the hospital. MAYBE your kid won’t mind it (mine are 50/50 on whether this is a benign tool or some medieval instrument of torture). YES it will save your life when it’s 3AM and your baby is screaming because she can’t breathe and you just need to get the stupid snot out for the love of GOD.

9) Nuna Sena Mini Playard

Real talk: I keep one of these in the back of my car in case we ever have an emergency nap situation. When your baby is little, it’s ideal for traveling (even if you’re only venturing as far as your in-laws house) because baby naps can happen anywhere. When they get a little bigger, throw some toys in and voila! You have a baby cage. Now go pour yourself a hot cup of coffee and watch 30 minutes of Netflix.

10) Billy Bibs Lace Pacifier Clip

How can something simple like a pacifier clip change your life? Easy. Especially if you know what it’s like to fumble around in the dark underneath a crib looking for a lost pacifier and coming up with nothing but tumbleweeds of dog hair (true story).

This ingenious invention simply keeps those pacifiers – which everyone knows babies love to chuck across the room whenever they get the chance – firmly attached to their onesie, so they’ll never be lost again. The fact that they’re adorable and lacy is just a bonus.

 

Well, those are my top ten! Anything else I have to have for baby numero three? Let me know now!

 

 

**(A huge thanks to The Baby Cubby for sponsoring this post)

a good heart and a registry

Greetings, blog world.

I know I keep saying “things just got real,” but honestly that’s how it is – every day it sinks in a little further that this could actually be happening and we could be bringing home a baby in just a smidge more than three months. A baby! I guess the closest thing to compare it to would be our wedding, but even that was not quite so hard to picture since (much to my mother’s dismay) we were already living together for a few months before the event. So while I really had no concept of how it would feel to be “husband” and “wife,” envisioning myself in a similar close situation with a man I already knew, with the added security of a ring on my finger and a really nice Kitchenaid mixer, just wasn’t a stretch. I knew what I was getting into. I dipped my toes. With a baby, it’s like I’ve been sitting on dry land for so long and now they’re slowly lowering me over the water, about to loosen the net and throw me in. It’s gonna be crazy, I can tell.

But I digress. Yesterday I had an hour-long in depth fetal heart ultrasound at the Perinatal center. I was told that this is standard practice for all IVF pregnancies, as there is an elevated risk for heart defects for IVF babies as compared to naturally conceived babies. I wasn’t about to complain because I was hoping to get another 3D shot of her face on the fancy schmancy ultrasound equipment that they have there. (Unfortunately, my little contortionist was folded up like a pretzel the whole time, knees to nose, so no such picture was possible. She’s still cute though).

As I was lying there, I heard a song. It’s a song I haven’t heard in a long, long time – in fact, the last time I remember hearing it, I was lying in the pre-op area waiting to undergo my D&C after my miscarriage with the twins. Awful, right? I’m sure I’ve probably heard it since then, but that’s the last time it really stuck out as memorable. The contrast between these two situations – the feelings I had, the emotions, the outlook – it was just so different. Even though yesterday I was in a happy place and every couple of minutes the doctor kept saying, “Looks perfect. Everything looks just right,” I couldn’t help crying. Tears of happiness and of gratitude just started pouring out of me. How did I get here? How did I make it this far?

It’s funny, I have a lyrics analysis for this particular song in my drafts and I just never got around to posting it. I’m sure most of us have a song or songs that we relate to infertility and loss for one reason or another. I can’t even read the lyrics to Pink’s “Beam Me Up” without dissolving into a puddle of messy emotion (if you’ve ever had a miscarriage, go listen to it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s literally the saddest song ever). But in regards to infertility in general, and to having my baby, I’ve always been drawn to this one song – the one I heard yesterday. It’s from Twilight, please don’t judge me. The song is called “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. Here’s the chorus:

I have died every day waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

It speaks to me. Dramatics? Check. Hyperbole? Check! It so perfectly puts into words the extremity of feeling that I’ve been carrying around for years now. I’ve DIED every day waiting for this child. Not just mourned, not just yearned – died. My love for her is so big, it encompasses a thousand years before I existed, and it will go on for a thousand years more. Plus, the singer’s voice is really beautiful. I know she’s technically talking about a guy who she’s pining for, but ignore a few obvious lines and the song could easily be about an unborn child. I’ll post the lyrics to the entire song below in case you’re interested.

Anyway, the song played, I cried, we finished up the ultrasound and everything looked great. She has a good, strong heart, as far as they can tell.

Eric and I had been throwing around the idea of going to register (reality: I’ve been nagging, he’s been procrastinating). We finally decided that going out right after work might be easier since we’d already be out and about, plus the store was likely to be less crowded. In a sort of impromptu move, we decided to go last night, on Thursday. He made me swear we’d only be there for 30 minutes (for anyone who has ever done any kind of registry: this is your cue to laugh heartily).

We got to the store and were sitting down to relay pertinent information and get our handy dandy scanner, and you’ll never guess what song came on over the store’s loudspeakers. Yes! I haven’t heard it in ages, and then twice in one day? In such baby-centric situations? So bizarre. This time I didn’t cry…I smiled.

Registering was overwhelming, to say the least. Since my sister, my mom, and some of my friends who are done having kids are giving me a bunch of stuff, I almost felt like we wouldn’t need to do one at all. We have the crib… the changing table… swings, papasans, and a bassinet. Tons of clothes. (Mountains of clothes. I mean… she is fully clothed and covered for hourly outfit changes for 6 months solid. No lie). I went in to the store knowing that I needed to get a new Bobby cover, a Sophie the Giraffe, and a car seat. Other than that I figured we needed nothing. Ha. Ha. Ha.

As we walked and scanned and got fawned over by the employees who were obviously bored out of their minds working on a Thursday night (I can’t recommend weeknight registering enough. It’s the perfect time to go), I was completely floored by how many things we actually DID need. Bottles, pacifiers, bath towels, diapers, nursing covers… as much as we were getting secondhand, we still needed so much. And I’m sure the store is meant to make you feel that way. Like, duh, it’s a store.

I knew to pass over silly things like wipes warmers. I’ve read the articles, I’ve talked to the experienced moms; I sort of know what’s just a waste of time and money. But all that crap aside, we still just need so much stuff. And don’t even try to talk me out of the $188 Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag, because at heart I am a total bag snob (I worked at Coach for 3 years), and I’ve been coveting one of those since my days of selling them to the snobby new moms at Nordstrom. Eric may have begrudgingly scanned it, but it’s a need, not a want. It has a fold out changing pad! Genius, I tell you!

Plus, a funny thing happened over the course of the night. I started to think, wow, this is not just stuff… this is stuff for a real live child who will be joining us in our house soon. That little pink sun hat will go on her head at the beach. This stroller that folds so conveniently will come with us to Musikfest in August, so instead of filling a mug with straight vodka and staunchly avoiding eye contact with pregnant chicks at the ‘fest (like I’ve done every year so far), I’ll be pushing my baby in a stroller. My baby. This baby who I’ve loved for a thousand years, and who I’ll love for a thousand more.

We have so much to do. Completing the registry was supposed to make me feel accomplished, but instead it made me feel woefully unprepared. And yet, at the same time, I feel a sense of calm. No matter what we do or don’t do, my baby is coming. She may not have all the stuff yet, but she’ll get what she needs. In the end, what more does she really need than so much love and gratitude for her existence?

Oh, that’s right. She does need that Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag.

Here are the words to that song I was telling you about:

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day
waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

Time stands still
beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died every day
Waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died every day
Waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid,
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more