I am truly sorry that I’ve cringed at this before. Because once I saw the faintest hint of that second line, the camera came out. Immediately.

I took this test today, 6dp5dFET, for two reasons. 1) I wanted to be prepared for that phone call after my beta tomorrow, be it prepared with celebration or with a huge bottle of vodka and 2) I was 100% convinced that I was getting my period. No matter that the Progesterone delays it for most women, so even if I wasn’t pregnant I probably wouldn’t be getting it. I’ve been keeping a list of symptoms that I will post separately if this is really real, but let’s just say I have none of the good ones and all of the ones that match AF. Including a sense of dread like she was right around the corner.

I have been dreaming of the moment of telling Eric. I tried to plan it and make it special. What actually happened was that I ran into the living room, threw the test onto his lap and stood there grinning like an idiot. He picked it up, glanced at it, and said, “No, I don’t believe it. Why did you do this? This isn’t real.” Apparently he refuses to get excited or celebrate until the beta since I’m so “pumped up full of drugs.” Totally not the reaction or presentation I had planned. As for me, my hands are shaking so I need to stop typing.

This is effing unreal.