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Apr 27

Infertility sensitivity training at the nail salon

Apr 27

Allie all grown up, sitting in her own chair

Allie all grown up, sitting in her own chair

First off, I would like to let you all know that I hit a milestone today – 10,000 page views! Holy baloney! Granted, 9,00 of them were probably just me self-editing… but for the other 1,000, thank you all so much for pretending to be interested in what I have to say. It’s so humbling and gratifying.

Today my mom, little sister and I made our annual first pilgrimage to the nail salon to get our toes done. We go to the same place every month of the spring/summer, year after year, so the people there know us well. It’s your typical place, run by people of Asian descent who speak English as a second language. It’s familiar and predictable. It is also a place that tested my tolerance today.

Below is an almost verbatim exchange between me and the young man doing my manicure:

Young Man: You married now one yea? Two yea?
Me: Almost three years.
Young Man: Three yea! No baby yet?
Me: No, no baby yet.
YM: You have baby soon?
Me: Well, yes we want to.
YM: You try to have the baby?
Me: Yes, practicing is half the fun. (Joke totally goes over his head).
YM: Your sistah, she have baby yet?
Me: Yes, she has two. She’s probably having another one today. (P.S. – my sister is in labor at this moment).
YM: Three baby! And you not have one! Tell your husban, you needa have the baby.
Me: Oh yes, he knows. (pause) …You know, it’s not so easy for some people. To have babies. Some people try to have babies and can’t.
YM: Oh. Oh you try to have the baby, not working.
Me: No, no it’s not.
YM: Sometimes the doctuh, they takeah the egg – take it out, and put it in? You know? They put it in the woman.
Me: (holding back laughter) Yes, yes we did that. We tried that. It doesn’t work for everyone.
YM: Oh, yes. Yes very expensive, the doctuh?
Me: Oh yes, VERY EXPENSIVE.
…long pause…
Me: Actually it did work. We were pregnant, with twins. But it… it didn’t last. We lost them. (WHY AM I TELLING HIM THIS? WHY?)
YM: Oh, your body no keep the babies.
Me: Nope. Maybe next time!

I’m seriously glad no one was sitting next to me. And I’m also unsure why I chose that person and that moment to school someone on infertility. Maybe I was hoping he wouldn’t harass the next married/childless woman who sat in that chair? I honestly can’t tell if I got through to him, mostly because of the language barrier. He certainly didn’t apologize for asking why I didn’t have babies, and didn’t shed a tear for my tale of tragedy. He just kept filing and cuticle clipping like we were talking about the weather.

Sigh. Well, at least I tried.

Posted by amanda 13 Comments
Filed Under: miscellany Tagged: infertility, nail salon