I had the foresight to finally sign up for short term disability at work during open enrollment a few months ago. That is how I planned on being paid (at least partially) during my maternity leave. Because I am lazy, I neglected to fill out and submit the questionnaire until just now. I got an email from HR warning that if I did not do it by this Friday, I would be automatically lose the coverage.
The questionnaire was short and simple. It asked if I went sky diving and scuba diving and whether I’ve been treated for drug addiction or heart disease. But then, towards the bottom, it asked me this:
Are you currently pregnant?
Yes, I’m currently pregnant. My HCG is sky high. If I peed on a stick right now, it would most definitely register a positive. There’s an embryo and a yolk sac in my uterus. I still get sick every morning right before breakfast. My stomach is rounder than it normally is.
But then again, no, I’m not currently pregnant. I’m not bringing home a baby in February. That embryo in my uterus is missing a vitally important thing – a heartbeat. That super high HCG should start decreasing soon until it eventually gets back to zero.
Thanks, stupid enrollment form, for ruining my morning. You’re an asshole.