Sorry for the silence lately. I’ve been suffering from this common blogging affliction known as, “Nothing to talk about-itis.” My life is firmly entrenched in that routine known as get up – go to work – come home – eat dinner – crash into bed by 9.
The good news is that this boring monotony is interspersed by moments of amazingness with Molly. The other night I was watching her scoot around her room with unbridled glee and all I could think was, “Wow. I love her more than any mother has ever loved a child. Or at least I have to be in the top ten.”
Surely many mothers feel this way. But seriously. I love her SO MUCH, it’s ridiculous. To the point that I feel bad for the next one, because how could I possibly love another human being with that much intensity? Or actually… I feel bad for myself, because if my love grows by double when he or she comes along, surely I will explode.
Speaking of the next one…
Nothing much to report, other than the fact that I look legit pregnant. I’ve only told a few people at work but it’s at the point now where it’s pretty obvious, not that anyone would say anything because presumably I’m still working on losing the baby weight and I wasn’t all that thin to begin with. But really. I hope that they all secretly think I’m pregnant, because otherwise I just look like I’m reaaaaally letting myself go.
My next ultrasound on May 8th felt like eons away, so earlier today I called the nurse at my OB/GYN to request another one in between. Honestly, how they expect someone with a history of RPL to go 4 weeks between ultrasounds in the first trimester is beyond me. I can’t handle it. So next Friday they’re squeezing me in for a quick afternoon appointment, just so I can see that little heartbeat flicker and breathe a little easier.
In general this pregnancy feels drastically different than the last. First of all, there are no injections – just a daily OTC prenatal vitamin that – let’s be honest – I forget to take half the time. Mild nausea in the mornings. Food aversion to vegetables, which is so not me at all. I’ve been doing the gluten-free thing, and of course it’s pretty easy because I’m so used to it, but other than that none of this feels really real. If it weren’t for my ridiculously swollen abdomen, I wouldn’t think it was happening at all.
I broke out the doppler a few times to try to find the heartbeat, but so far no dice. I’m not really worried about it – it’s still so early and it’s not even like I have the top of the line model. I didn’t find Molly’s HB (or even try to) until after 12 weeks. But still. A little reassurance that this was still happening would be nice. (Hence the added ultrasound.)
The first week of May, Molly and I are tagging along on a business trip with Eric, just for the fun of it. Swanky $400/night hotel that we don’t have to pay for? Yes, please! I’m a little irritated because last year this same conference was in New Orleans (and he missed my 30th birthday, remember??!!) and this year it’s in Washington D.C. Lame, right? I mean, I live on the east coast and I’ve been to DC many, many times… it’s not as fun or intriguing as N’awlins would have been. But oh well. If the conference was in some far-flung city, we probably wouldn’t be able to justify my airfare anyway.
It will be nice to take a few days off, at least. Once again this trip coincides with my birthday, making this the 31st consecutive year that I HAVE NOT worked on my birthday. My goal is to keep the streak going for as long as possible.
Other than that, not much to report. Just feeling like I should at least check in every once in a while.