Way back before I was even out of the danger zone, I signed up on the “What to Expect” website and ever since, I’ve been getting a daily email with links to a message board populated solely by other women who are due in the month of June. There are usually a lot of boring-looking posts (“URGENT carseat question, help?!!!!” and “Carrying high or low?”), but occasionally the headline is compelling enough to make me click in and read (usually these posts start out with, “WARNING, TMI post ahead…”).
Anyway, I clicked on one this morning because it had to do with weight gain. Now, I know that I’ve already gained too much… actually, I’ve pretty much hit the point where I’ve gained as much as you’re supposed to gain for the whole pregnancy. But still, I wasn’t prepared for the responses, which made me want to throw up right into my bowl of sugar-laden (yet, gluten-free!) Cinnamon Rice Chex. No, the irony was not lost on me that I was reading this post and stuffing my face at the same time.
Some actual posts from the message board, on the topic “starting weight/height + weight gain to date?”:
-start weight 100…current weight 106…20 weeks today! 5’3 and 20 years old
-5’1 started at 107, now at 118 at 22 weeks
-23 weeks, 5 days…starting height/weight 5’2, 98 pounds, now 101 pounds, so +3! 20 years old
-I’m 22 weeks, 5’3. Starting weight 122, now 134, so up 12 pounds. 21 years old, second time mom (:
-Starting weight 114 height 5’5 current weight 134 at 20 weeks
-22 weeks 5’1 started at 125 and now 131
I could go on… but I won’t.
Bitches! First of all, why are they all so young? Second… now I feel like crap. I was lamenting this to Eric, who reassured me that it’s the internet and anyone can say anything they want, but it’s an annonymous message board. I don’t really see how they would benefit from lying.
Ugh. I’m 5’1 and my starting weight was 135 (ish). That’s high for me, but as I’ve mentioned, stress eating spurred by multiple miscarriages led to some weight gain in 2013. Wednesday I will be 22 weeks…and I’ve gained 25 pounds so far (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN).
I’ve been hiding behind the popular adage that, “you just gain weight all over with girls.” And maybe that’s true. But it’s time to take a look in the mirror and realize that I’ve seriously been eating like total crap. All I want is sugar. All day long, sugar. And besides refraining from gluten and corn syrup, I’ve been granting myself an all-access pass to eat whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want. In a way, I feel like I’ve earned it… fought so hard to get here, spent so many years obsessed with food and dieting, PLUS I’ve given up bread and gluten entirely… so what’s wrong with a little sugar?
But the problem is that it’s not a little sugar… it’s a truckload of sugar. I’ve never been a sugary treats type person – my downfall is bread and carbs. Generally I only eat sweets in the form of fruit, especially berries, and dark chocolate. But apparently Baby Girl is my polar opposite, because ever since she made her presence known, I cannot get enough of the white stuff. And as a side note, I’ve been careful to use only real sugar (I guess that makes this a bit more justifiable?). I used to be a Splenda addict, but ever since my BFP I have avoided all artifical sweeteners and stuck to real white (or raw) sugar only. I’ve been known to gaze longingly at other people drinking Diet Cokes, but I just don’t think that’s a smart move right now.
Here is a typical day’s intake of
1 (or 1.5) bowls of Cinnamon Chex
1 cup of coffee, with white sugar
Chamomile tea, with raw sugar
THIRD BREAKFAST (what do you mean, there’s no such thing as third breakfast?)
Chobani fruit on the bottom Greek yogurt
Varies, usually leftovers, not necessarily sugary. Miss Molly is really into cheeseburgers (bun-free, of course), so occasionally I will order one of those.
Chocolate. Any kind of chocolate, kept stashed in my desk
Varies, lately has been gluten-free pasta with tomato sauce
large bowl of chocolate ice cream, with sprinkles
Decaf iced tea, with sugar
Yeah, it’s not pretty. I just looked up the glucose test time, and it looks like in 2 – 4 weeks I’ll have the answer to whether or not I really went off the sugary deep end. My sister had gestational diabetes. From what I saw, it wasn’t fun. I never worried about it for myself because like I said, I’ve never been a real sweets person. I just did not anticipate that my offspring would be a HUGE sweets person. You should feel her go crazy moving around every time I indulge in a sweet treat. So it’s part craving, part selfishness, because obviously I love feeling her move.
Wow, I’ve become impossibly lame, here… I’m not even saying I have gestational diabetes, I’m really just saying I think that I possibly do. Truth be told, there’s not much else going on in my world. We agreed to start talking about doing the nursery… but nothing has been decided so far. I do have a distinct vision of what I want, but as with all decorating projects, Eric likes to have input on these matters. I found some freaking adorable girl-themed Star Wars wall art on etsy (because that’s what my geek husband likes, of course) that fits my vision and color scheme perfectly, so here’s hoping that will sway him in the right direction. We have time. We still need to register. That’s on the agenda, for the near, near future.
That’s about all, folks. Sorry for absolute lameness.