Can I just say, I am loving ICLW so far? I love comments, they really are the new hug (and I’m not even a hugger, really). I have had this draft hanging out for a while so I thought it would be fun to do an interactive post. I even managed to keep it (mostly) free from typical infertility gripes.
I often enjoy reading People I Want to Punch in the Throat. With her blog in mind, I started a similar list. Without further ado, I bring you….
Things that make me want to punch other things
1. Anyone who says verbiage, bandwidth (incorrectly), plush, flesh, supposebly and “Let’s take this offline.”
2. People who buy too much food for events and then throw it away. Take whatever you were planning to order, cut it in half, and then order half of that. You’ll still have leftovers, I swear.
3. Anyone who has their shit together. This includes people with investment portfolios, stocks, robust retirement funds, and summer homes.
4. People with achingly beautiful, thoughtful blogs that I’ll never live up to. Just shut up already.
5. People who think animals are cuter than babies. They’re not.
7. Danielle Steele
8. Anyone who complains about having thick hair. Trust me, the alternative is far worse.
9. Being wet. This includes showers, baths, swimming, rainstorms, kayaking, puddle stomping, sweating on summer days, and all other moist activities. Also, the word moist.
10. Tile floors in any room besides the kitchen and the bathroom
11. People with no sense of humor
12. The whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. Oh, yeah, let’s glorify terrible writing just because it has graphic sex scenes. Tee hee, we’re soooo naughty!
13. Facebook status updates of inspirational quotes. They make me hate you. Honestly, I’d rather hear about what you had for breakfast.
14. Anyone who ignores simple grammar rules and punctuation in any format
15. Laugh tracks on shows
16. Any show on MTV
17. Crumbs on the counter
18. Broken turn signals on cars that blink too fast.
19. Windshield wipers turned to a setting that does not match how hard it was raining. Slight drizzle? No need for heavy downpour setting. If your wipers start skipping and making sounds because the windshield is too dry, you’re doing it wrong.
20. Arbitrary Capitalization In The Middle Of Sentences For No Apparent Reason. No, It Does Not Make Your Words More Important. It Makes You Look Like An Idiot.
21. Arbitrary “quotation marks.” I have been noticing this a lot lately. It seems that a lot of people need to research where and when to use them. When in doubt – don’t.
22. Anyone who gets pregnant accidentally
23. Being at Walmart
24. Dog poop in the house. If anyone had told me often it would happen, I seriously would have reconsidered the whole “dog owner” thing.
25. Sleeping on a couch
26. Soggy cereal/melted ice cream/mushy food in general
27. Eating a meal without a beverage (even watching someone do this makes me dehydrated).
Your turn – what am I missing?